He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
