thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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