i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
