My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what day is it and did you see me today?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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