Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
