i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
