I hope mine doesn't look like that
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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