it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
