U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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