I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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