Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i drank out of a bidet.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
