your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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