My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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