never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
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Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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