Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
