There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
