I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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