Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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