you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
