The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
