Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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