What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
