508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
