no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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