I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
