No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
