I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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