My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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