i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This house was built for laser tag.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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