I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
