You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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