Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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