ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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