I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize