atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
