there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
