Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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