ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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