pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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