How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We are all done wearing pants today
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
