she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
