I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
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