Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
