Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
