your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
