dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's Friday. Sex?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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