Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
