You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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