I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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