When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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