yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
