I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
