Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him