Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

(323): View more from California

no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

(310): View more from California

oh, so thats why my junks red.

(323): View more from California

wow. cant help you there...

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(310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood. (323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up. (310): oh, so thats why my junks red. (323): wow. cant help you there... http://tfl.nu/yeir

Replies (15) Good night (809) Bad night (1608)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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(630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv

Replies (33) Good night (3067) Bad night (773)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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(678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li

Replies (28) Good night (899) Bad night (7959)
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(714): View more from California

Who was that guy you went home with?

(1-714): View more from California

Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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(714): Who was that guy you went home with? (1-714): Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now. http://tfl.nu/q2tl

Replies (45) Good night (6568) Bad night (1291)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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(860): Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica http://tfl.nu/womi

Replies (10) Good night (4655) Bad night (1423)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(570): He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom. http://tfl.nu/2ayy

Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (3427)
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(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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(614): she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie. http://tfl.nu/xhiw

Replies (14) Good night (4239) Bad night (1040)
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(516): View more from New York

There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

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(516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h

Replies (55) Good night (21698) Bad night (1450)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

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(316): Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out. http://tfl.nu/ipe4

Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (754)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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(201): Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium. http://tfl.nu/lfpo

Replies (11) Good night (4653) Bad night (742)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.

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(908): he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn. http://tfl.nu/ku90

Replies (6) Good night (1084) Bad night (488)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July

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(609): Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July http://tfl.nu/khgw

Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (494)
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(567): View more from Ohio

Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good

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(567): Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good http://tfl.nu/gp9h

Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (899)
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(805): View more from California

I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?

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(805): I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal? http://tfl.nu/khtc

Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (334)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.

(1-330): View more from Ohio

I'm so proud, I have tears

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(330): I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out. (1-330): I'm so proud, I have tears http://tfl.nu/7h1f

Replies (5) Good night (1023) Bad night (293)

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