using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!