Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  now i know why i became what i already was.

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  (310): now i know why i became what i already was. http://tfl.nu/jcnf
  Replies (9) Good night (2235) Bad night (563)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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  (636): I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks. http://tfl.nu/gzvr
  Replies (40) Good night (999) Bad night (4406)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy

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  (814): i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45 (773): Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy http://tfl.nu/wt4o
  Replies (7) Good night (3446) Bad night (899)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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  (860): i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie http://tfl.nu/y2j0
  Replies (17) Good night (4498) Bad night (1830)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.

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  (406): Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast. http://tfl.nu/9556
  Replies (18) Good night (6330) Bad night (906)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.

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  (507): I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER. http://tfl.nu/g7c4
  Replies (20) Good night (5493) Bad night (1314)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons

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  (970): I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons http://tfl.nu/vc4y
  Replies (10) Good night (1229) Bad night (2174)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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  (403): Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over. http://tfl.nu/puou
  Replies (9) Good night (2253) Bad night (553)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love

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  (712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/bjop
  Replies (23) Good night (4487) Bad night (688)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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  (979): A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her. http://tfl.nu/dqlo
  Replies (12) Good night (876) Bad night (1756)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.

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  (978): If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room. http://tfl.nu/2jpn
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (612)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?

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  (919): But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night? http://tfl.nu/eqjw
  Replies (8) Good night (1138) Bad night (358)
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  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.

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  (424): I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster. (479): This lesson is brought you by a psychology class. http://tfl.nu/4ga3
  Replies (8) Good night (1418) Bad night (316)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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  (978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (186)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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  (347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (186)

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