Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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(313): Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs http://tfl.nu/nept

Replies (12) Good night (3023) Bad night (1114)
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(846): View more from

He asked to "fluff my boner.."

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(846): He asked to "fluff my boner.." http://tfl.nu/m6cj

Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (1778)
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(509): View more from Washington

you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

(509): View more from Washington

and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(509): you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin (509): and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD" http://tfl.nu/lw4q

Replies (37) Good night (3837) Bad night (756)
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(360): View more from Washington

she smelled like a LAN party

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(360): she smelled like a LAN party http://tfl.nu/lit3

Replies (35) Good night (1032) Bad night (4448)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

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(860): My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen.. http://tfl.nu/c7n8

Replies (15) Good night (5469) Bad night (1635)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(919): He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/o436

Replies (8) Good night (987) Bad night (2483)
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(248): View more from Michigan

had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall

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(248): had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall http://tfl.nu/12ne

Replies (3) Good night (2446) Bad night (937)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified

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(801): I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified http://tfl.nu/y3tt

Replies (13) Good night (2664) Bad night (1278)
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(206): View more from Washington

a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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(206): a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside http://tfl.nu/s7y4

Replies (12) Good night (2842) Bad night (1193)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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(719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20

Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (662)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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(704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b

Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (364)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was

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(815): Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was http://tfl.nu/efhi

Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (394)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.

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(778): And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again. http://tfl.nu/11c3

Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (322)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.

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(215): I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you. http://tfl.nu/69ry

Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (242)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015

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(717): Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015 http://tfl.nu/6v35

Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (229)

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