im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
tell me about the fingering
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