idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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