What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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