Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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