I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
