is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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