don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
