your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
