all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
