Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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