He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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