Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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