..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
