I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
