Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
